


The Surprise

by sharkie335



Category: Hawkeye (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Babies shouldn't be left on doorsteps, Bucky Barnes & Clint Barton Friendship, Clint Barton Bingo 2019, Crying babies, Definitely going to be friends to lovers, Gen, Kid Fic, M/M, This is going to be my first attempt at a WIP, Tony Stark Is a Good Bro, possibly friends to lovers maybe?, we'll see how things work out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-04
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:01:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23478151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sharkie335/pseuds/sharkie335
Summary: Clint finds a surprise in the hallway.  How he ends up dealing with it surprises even him.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Clint Barton
Comments: 52
Kudos: 127
Collections: Clint Barton Bingo





	1. Kidfic

**Author's Note:**

> I have not posted a WIP or kidfic before and I'm way outside my comfort zone. I'm going to try to fill this using squares from my Clint Barton Bingo card. I have no idea if this is going to work.

There was an unholy shrieking coming from the hallway outside Clint's apartment. He had fallen asleep with his ears in, and so the noise had woken him with all the subtlety of a dentist's drill, boring into his head.

He looked longingly at the coffee machine as he stumbled towards the door, but he needed to find the source of the noise first, before he started getting complaints from his tenants. Opening the door, he didn't see anything at first, and it took him a second to think to look down.

On the floor outside his door was a cardboard box. Inside the box, was the smallest baby Clint had ever seen, and it was the source of the shrieking as he? she? screamed their little lungs out. "Aw, baby, no," he mumbled. But he bent down and picked up the box, figuring at least it was warmer in his apartment and if he could get the baby to stop crying, then he would be able to make some coffee.

As he jostled the box, the noise cut off suddenly, and the baby inside blinked at him with big, teary eyes. "Hey there, little guy," Clint said, drawing on his limited knowledge that babies liked it when you talked to them. "Let's get you inside and figure out what's going on."

Carrying the whole kit inside his apartment, he gingerly set it down on the breakfast bar. The baby still wasn't crying, so Clint took a minute to start a pot of coffee, and then started checking the contents of the box. It didn't take him long to find the note, written in girl-ish handwriting.

 _"My Abuela says that you're a superhero,"_ the note said. _"I can't take care of my baby, but if you really are a hero, hopefully you can. Tell Maia her mama loves her, but needed to leave her with someone safe."_

Well, shit.

The baby started to cry again, but not as loudly, and moving carefully, Clint lifted her - Maia - out of the box. He knew to support her neck, and once she was cradled carefully against his chest, she snuffled a few times, but the sobbing stopped once again. Holding her carefully with one hand, he dug around in the box, finding a few diapers, two bottles, and a handknit blanket. That was it.

He knew that he should call the police and get Child Protective Services involved. As young as Maia was, he was hardly equipped to take care of her. But he couldn't bring himself to do it. He'd been in the system, and it had been so bad that he'd run away to the circus. He couldn't do that to another kid. 

He really wished that Phil was still around. Phil would have known what to do, but - he clamped down viciously on that thought. Instead, he ran through the people he knew. He quickly ruled out the people in his building. They were all good people, but none of them could afford another mouth to feed. There was a reason he didn't charge rent.

None of the team had kids, and as far as he knew, only one had siblings. Before he could carry that thought threw, a unholy smell assaulted him, and he groaned. "You couldn't have waited until I at least had drunk some coffee, Maia?" he asked.

But he could feel her squirming uncomfortably, so he carefully lowered her back into the box, grabbed a dishcloth and wet it with warm water, and got to work, cleaning her up. It was pretty gross, but not the worst thing he'd done by a long shot. Then he got one of the bottles. It was cold, and he vaguely knew that you should feed babies warm things, so he stuck it in the microwave for thirty seconds and stashed the second in the fridge.

The whole time, he was turning over in his mind if there was anyone he could call. As the microwave dinged, the idea came to him. Bucky had had younger sisters. Yeah, it had been 80 years ago, but that was still more experience than he had. Grabbing the bottle, he shook it to eliminate hotspots, and dripped a little on his arm. He wasn't sure what he was supposed to feel, but it wasn't ice cold, so he figured she'd let him know if it was a problem and started to feed her with one hand.

With the other, he poured a cup of coffee as he continued to mull his options. The more he thought about it, Bucky seemed his best bet, so once she had turned her head, refusing any more of the bottle, he grabbed his phone and dialed Bucky.

"Lo," Bucky's voice was low and gravely, and only then did Clint realize that it was still before six. 

"Shit. Didn't mean to wake you," he babbled. "But I need help?"

"What's wrong? Do you need the team?" Bucky's voice was instantly more awake and alert, and Clint felt bad for the jolt of adrenaline that he'd probably given him. 

Then the baby started crying, and he just managed to get out, "No, just you. Can you come to my apartment as soon as you can?"

There was a brief silence, and then Bucky said, "Be there in a half hour," and the line cut.

Now to figure out why the baby was crying. Picking her back up, he held her like he'd seen moms do with their little ones, kinda bouncing in place. "You've had your diaper changed," he said to her. "You've had breakfast." The crying was getting louder, christ. He added rocking back and forth to his bouncing and started patting her on the back. "Shh, Maia, shh. I'm doing the best I can here."

The baby let out a huge belch, definitely oversized when compared to her tiny size, and Clint felt warm liquid soak through the back of his t-shirt. Before he could get grossed out, though, he realized that Maia had stopped crying, and was making small snuffling sounds against his shoulder.

Thinking that it might be too good to be true, he kept swaying and patting, and when he dared a look at her, he realized her eyes were closed and she appeared to be asleep. Carefully, he lowered her down into the box, and went to get changed while he waited for Bucky.


	2. Jealousy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and Steve show up. Turns out that maybe Clint isn't right about their relationship after all.

True to his word, Bucky was knocking on the door in under thirty minutes. What he hadn't mentioned was that he was bringing Steve. Also, his knocking woke Maia, so Clint realized he probably looked a little frazzled as the two of them crowded into his tiny apartment. 

"So, something you want to tell me?" Bucky asked as Steve poked at the box on the counter and Clint bounced the baby, praying she'd settle back down quickly. Wordlessly, Clint thrust the note at him and closed his eyes as he swayed. God, how did mothers do this for hours? His knees hurt already. 

He could hear the rustle of paper as Bucky handed the note to Steve. "So, someone thinks you're taking in spare kids?" Bucky asked. Before Clint could answer, Bucky continued. "Why'd you call me?"

"You're the only person I could think of that had experience with kids," Clint admitted.

"He's not a father," Steve said, and Clint wished for just a minute that he hadn't come. Steve always thought he knew best, and he was right often enough that there wasn't much that would change his mind.

"I _know_ that," Clint said. "I would have noticed rugrats around the tower. But Coulson used to talk about you and he mentioned a couple of times that you had little sisters."

Bucky sighed. "Just the one. She wasn't that much younger than I was, Clint," he said gently. "Not like I was taking care of her when she was a baby."

Clint wilted a little. Bucky really had been his only real hope of figuring this mess out. "Oh. I guess, uh, I guess I have to call the police after all. I just didn't want to put her in the system. I guess you guys might as well head back to the tower. If I’d thought about it - I shouldn't have dragged you both out here."

He didn't say that he hadn't asked Steve, but that was mostly because he didn't want to start a fight when he was already dreading the call to the police to report the baby.

"Give me a second, okay, Clint?" Bucky asked, his voice low and soothing.

Clint nodded. Maia had finally settled again, and so he tucked her back into her box. Behind him, there was an argument that was being fought in fierce whispers, and he tried hard to ignore them. They both probably thought he was being an idiot. He lived by himself and he was a fucking Avenger. What would he do with a baby the next time there was a call out?

Behind him, the door opened and then closed quietly, and he bent over the box, trying to force the pain in his chest back down. Well, that was that. Where was his phone? Maybe the police would let him keep an eye on Maia while she was in foster care.

The hand on his back startled the hell out of him, and he felt like he jumped a foot in the air. "Hey, hey," Bucky's voice was low in his ear. "It's okay. Steve's headed back to the tower. He's going to get Tony and Tony's attorneys and see what we can do to get you set up as at least a temporary home for this little girl. He's also going to see if someone on Tony's staff can get you some supplies beyond a box. Now, what _do_ you know about babies?"

Clint laughed, and even he could hear the hysteria creeping around the edges of the sound. "I mostly know what _not_ to do with kids," he said. "I've never been this close to a baby this small before. Seen them on TV, though."

"Well, you got her to sleep, so that's one thing," Bucky said. "And it looks like she's been fed, and you changed her diaper, so you've got her physical needs met. And at this age, I bet that's a lot of it. But you know, you have the internet on your phone. We can look up some more information."

"Aren't you going back with Steve?" Clint asked, a little baffled by the whole situation. Bucky said he didn't know anything about babies, and this wasn't his problem. Honestly, if Clint had been firing on all cylinders, he wouldn't have called him. He had to admit that his crush had probably gotten the better of him.

"Nah, Steve's better at that organizational shit than I am. Besides, you look overwhelmed enough that you might drop. You know that if Tony's attorney's pull off getting you the baby, he's going to try to leverage it into you moving into the tower."

That was almost certainly true, but that was a problem for future-Clint. In the meantime, he guessed they needed to figure out the basics of baby care. He pulled out his phone, leaning against the counter, only to be hip-checked by Bucky. "Take your coffee and phone and go to the couch, Clint. I'll grab Maia and her box, and we'll sit down together and see what we can find."

Clint obeyed quickly, but when Bucky set Maia’s box on the coffee table along with his own mug of coffee, he couldn’t stop thinking about the weirdness of the situation. The words spilled out without any thought. "Why are you being nice to me?"

Bucky _blushed_ , high across his cheekbones. "Cause I like you," he mumbled.

"Okay, that explains why you came," Clint said, completely baffled. "But not why you're still here, or why you apparently talked Steve into helping me with something that is obviously completely crazy."

Rolling his eyes, Bucky repeated, "I _like_ you." This time the context was impossible to miss.

"But - but Steve?" Clint asked while thinking he sounded like a complete dumbass. Way to talk the cute guy out of possibly returning his crush.

"What about Steve?" Great, now Bucky looked confused. Clearly, more coffee was needed.

"I thought you two had a thing?" Clint asked. Bucky burst out laughing, and Clint recoiled. "Hey, why are you laughing at me?"

Bucky reached out and rested his hand on Clint's arm, still laughing. Clint waited, impatient, for Bucky to tell him just how much he was misinterpreting everything. It was obvious that Bucky was being nice just because - just because - well, Clint really couldn't think why he was being this nice, honestly.

Finally, still letting out the occasional chuckle, Bucky said, "You think I have a thing with _Steve_? That would be like kissing my brother. No, not a chance in hell."

"But you two are always together. He even came here with you," Clint argued, not sure why he was doing it.

"He brought me here because if I'd had to wait for the subway it could have taken an hour or more, and you sounded like it couldn't wait. He drives - I don't. Seriously, I don't have anything more than being best friends with Steve. You, on the other hand -"

"Me?" Clint tried very hard to keep his voice from squeaking. 

"I've seen the way you look at me," Bucky said, his voice quiet. He didn't sound like he was going to punch Clint, which was good.

"I can stop." Clint folded his hands in front of his chest. "If it bothers you, I can stop."

"The only thing that bothers me about it is that you've never done anything about it," and then Bucky was leaning forward, and his lips were pressing to Clint's, and he had the brief thought that maybe the whole morning had just been a dream.

Then he got very invested in returning the kiss and keeping it going as long as he could. One of Bucky's hands came up and cradled the back of Clint's head gently, and Clint could feel himself melting into the embrace. They kissed and kissed and kissed until Maia made a soft sound, making Clint pull away to make sure she wasn't going to cry.

Once he'd confirmed for himself that it was just a sleepy sound, he looked back at Bucky. "So, not going to punch me, then," he said, needing the confirmation.

"Not going to punch you," Bucky agreed. "Gonna kiss you a lot if you're agreeable," he added.

"I am," Clint said, "but right now I need to get Maia sorted before doing anything else new."

He expected an argument from Bucky. Instead, Bucky pulled his phone out of his pocket. "So, let's figure this baby thing out, okay?" he suggested with a shy smile that tugged at parts of Clint. And not just the ones in his pants.

What was Clint going to do? Argue? He wasn't the smartest Avenger, but he wasn't _stupid_. So, grabbing his own phone, he started googling sites about baby care.


	3. Expectation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony Stark always thinks he knows best. Sometimes he's right.

Clint only realized he'd fallen asleep when his phone buzzed against his chest, where he'd apparently dropped it. He glanced around quickly. Bucky was asleep at the other end of the sofa, his phone on the couch in between them. Maia was tucked up in her box, making tiny huffing sounds. Everyone identified and located, he answered the call, which showed "Stark" on the screen.

He hadn't even gotten out a hello before Stark was talking. "You acquired a baby and called Deep Freeze before you called me, Katniss?" he said. "I'm hurt. Really and truly hurt."

"What do you want, Tony?" Clint interrupted, knowing Tony would go on forever if you didn't stop him.

"I got some attorneys who say they need to talk to you. And while I usually advocate avoiding lawyers at all costs, if for some crazy reason you want to keep this baby, I think it's probably a good idea."

"Oh, okay," Clint pulled his phone away from his face long enough to check the time - ten am. "We can be there by noon, I guess. Gonna take some time to navigate the subway."

"Subway? No. Pepper has already had her assistant get you some basic baby things - clothes and stuff - and Happy's on his way with it. You want this kid, you want her clean and dressed in nice stuff, and preferably in a car seat."

"Tony, I fell asleep. I need to wake up a little." Bucky's eyes opened, and Clint saw him do the same check he'd done - where was he? Who was on the couch? Where's the baby? - and then he turned his attention back to Tony. "Can I have just twenty minutes?"

"You got ten, baby doll, and that's if Happy runs into traffic. Get moving. Clean and dressed and waiting for Emma," Tony pulled his phone away from his mouth to shout "Emma, right?", presumably at Pepper, before coming back and saying, "Yeah, Emma. Get a move on."

The phone went dead in his hand, and Clint stared at it for a second in bemusement, until Bucky laughed a little and said, "Tony?"

"Yeah." Clint stood up and stretched. Now that he thought about it, it had been about four hours since Maia had eaten, so maybe he should start warming up the other bottle before going to get dressed.

"He's really something," Bucky said. "But Steve says he comes through in a pinch."

"He does, yeah." Grabbing the bottle out of the fridge, he pulled out a pan and filled it with hot water before setting the bottle in it - the _right_ way to heat up formula, according to one of the many, many sites they'd found before he'd fallen asleep. "Apparently I have to go meet with some attorneys."

"Ugh. You have my sympathies," Bucky said. He got up from the couch and came into the kitchen. "Go on, get dressed for meeting with the suits. If she wakes up, I think I can handle feeding her."

By the time he was in his most decent clothes (still jeans, but no holes and they were clean, button down shirt and the only tie he owned), the mysterious Emma had arrived and was working with Bucky to get Maia cleaned up and dressed. He had to admit that the admiring look that Bucky gave him almost made being strangled by the tie worth it.

Fifteen minutes after the call from Tony, they were out of the apartment and on their way to the tower. Clint had been in cars driven by Happy before, but he would have sworn that something had taken him over, because he was driving slow and carefully. Then he glanced at Maia, secure in her car seat, and he thought he might be able to figure out why.

When they got there, Clint and Bucky were separated by Steve showing up and dragging Bucky away, leaving Clint alone to face a table full of corporate drones.

Only, he realized quickly, they weren't. There was one woman who identified as a social worker, two attorneys who said they specialized in custody law, and someone from Child Protective Services. Hearing that, it took everything Clint had not to clutch Maia to his chest and run like hell. But Ms. Seidel - "Please, call me Tanya" - said that she was there to make sure that what happened was in the best interests of Maia, and he couldn't argue that. The baby had only been in his custody for a handful of hours, and he already felt like he'd do anything to protect her, even if that meant giving her up.

If he never had to repeat the following six hours, he would be thrilled. There were questions about his background. There were questions about his "philosophy of child rearing". There were questions about the safety of his apartment, and whether there was enough space for a baby. Just as he felt like his head was going to explode at that question, Tony walked into the room. 

Tony grinned, shark-like. "Perfect timing as always. Don't know about the rattle trap in Bed Stuy, but Clint has a state-of-the-art apartment here, already being outfitted with a nursery. And before you ask, the Avengers - i.e. me - are financing a rotating staff of on-call childcare so that if there's a call out, there's always someone available."

Clint could feel his face growing stiff, and he grit out, "If you would excuse us," as he grabbed Tony by the elbow and propelled him back into the hallway. He waited for the door to shut, and then said in a low voice, "I don't want to move into the tower and you know it. My tenants depend on me."

Tony's eyes were serious and soft. "Yeah, I know all about your Russian Mafia problem. The team's been waiting for you to ask for help, but clearly hell's going to freeze over before that happens. So, we're going to stop waiting and help you handle it. We've got a security team that's going to help you out, make sure your tenants are safe in and out of the building. Work with you to clean up that part of Bed-Stuy. You want her down there during the day while you're doing your landlord thing, that's fine. But if you agree to stay here at night, they're a whole lot more likely to let you keep her."

Clint knew his mouth was moving without sound, and that he probably looked like a particularly demented goldfish. But Tony was right - with help, he could get more than just his building cleaned up. Might even be able to push the Bro crew out of the neighborhood entirely. Still... "Your people don't interfere with my tenants. No trying to gentrify the neighborhood."

Tony drew an X over his reactor, "I promise, Clint. They won't even talk to them if you insist, though that might be weirder. Your tenants are safe from being forced out. So are all of the neighborhood stores."

Swallowing hard, Clint nodded. "Then I guess we're moving in."

"Great. Let's go in there and tell all the legal people that so that they can draw up whatever papers they need to."

Clint wasn't sure it was going to be that easy, but it turned out it really was, at least when you were an Avenger with Tony Stark on your side. The rest of the day spun out of his control, as he went back to the apartment with a team of movers to get the stuff he'd need to spend his nights at the tower, and make his apartment livable for the caretaker that Tony swore that he'd have on site within a week.

He also stopped at every apartment, to let them know that he wasn't abandoning them and tell them about the plan. They all got his phone number, and the phone number for the private security that Tony had already hired. 

Then he got to apartment 5C, and he took a deep breath. If Maia's great-grandmother lived in his building, it was Mrs. Gonzales, and he didn't know how to bring it up. He wanted word to get back to Maia's mother that Maia was safe, and that if she wanted to come back in, Clint would help her, even if he was already head-over-heels in love with the little girl already,

He knocked on the door, and from inside he could hear the sounds of Mrs. Gonzales shuffling across the floor. She opened the door, and before he could say anything she said, "You're keeping her then, mi hijo?"

"Unless you want her, Mrs. Gonzales. She should be with her family." Clint was proud that his voice didn't waiver.

She was already shaking her head. "I'm too old for a baby, Clint. My daughter - she has the Alzheimers, and my granddaughter is a good girl, but she belongs in school, not at home taking care of a baby. Maybe someday, but not today. Today is not good for her, si?"

"Si, Mrs. Gonzales," Clint said. "Tell your granddaughter... tell her she doesn't have to give up everything. Even if she just wants to be family friends so that she can watch Maia grow up, we can do that."

"I will tell her," she said. Clint wasn't sure he believed her, but he wasn't going to argue with her. He knew he'd lose that fight. He handed over his contact information, knowing that she was his best source of information for all the little things happening in the building. She nodded knowingly. "This tower? There will be people to help you?"

"Si," he said, nodding so hard that he thought his head was going to fall off.

"It's good, Clint. Help is good. Knowing you need help, that is harder." With that, she nodded firmly and closed the door in his face. Well, that was that, he guessed.

Going back to his apartment, he found that all of his personal possessions had been packed and taken out, leaving just the furniture and the dishes in the kitchen. Even his groceries had been packed. 

Feeling a little like he was standing in the middle of a highway and dodging traffic, he took one last look around and then headed back out of the building. Emma had been watching Maia long enough. He wanted to be back with her.

And Bucky too, if he hadn't changed his mind.


	4. Bondage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Four months into having custody of Maia, she has a bad day, and Clint is feeling more than a little tied down. Plus, he hasn't been able to do anything about wanting to have a relationship with Bucky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so you know, the rating on this is going to stay general audiences. Plus, this is the first time I've posted a WIP, so it would be good hear from anyone reading this.
> 
> One more section after this.

Four months later, Clint was rethinking his decision to adopt Maia (well, according to the social worker, he was "fostering" her until the courts cleared her adoption, but as far as he was concerned the difference was just words). She had been crying non-stop for eight hours. She wasn't hungry, or too cold, or too warm, and if he put her down she screamed even harder.

He knew that he could light up the "Clint-signal" as Tony put it, and he'd have a child care expert here in a matter of minutes, if not sooner, but Maia was _his_ baby, and he was only going to do that if he _had_ to. He'd managed to resist the urge up until now, but he was just realizing what it meant when the child care workers who watched her during call-outs told him that Maia was a "good" baby. God help him, if Maia had been like this when she was even smaller, he might not have attempted this at all.

Clint was seriously thinking about taking out his ears when there was knocking at his door. Still rocking Maia and making shushing noises, he stumbled over, planning to apologize to whoever he'd disturbed, even though he was the only apartment on this floor. Surely Bruce couldn't hear her through the ceiling. Not in the tower.

It was Bucky, looking hotter than he had any right to, with a soft look of concern on his face. "You weren't at dinner," he said over Maia's screaming. "I thought I should check on you."

Backing away from the door, Clint gestured for him to come in. "Yeah, Maia just is not having a good day today, and I didn't want to subject the rest of the team to her screaming. Besides, it's not like I come every night."

"You didn't even miss lasagna night when you _didn't_ live in the tower," Bucky said, closing the door behind himself and holding out his arms towards Clint, silently offering to take Maia. For just a moment, Clint clutched her a little tighter, and then realized how foolish he was being. It wasn't like Bucky was going to take her and run, and his arms were begging for a break. He could pull a bow with a hundred pound draw all day long, but one fourteen pound infant had them crying for mercy. After pressing a kiss to her head, he handed her over.

It wasn't the first time that Bucky had held her by any means, and he knew that she was safe in Bucky's hands. It didn't make it any easier to take when she immediately quieted into soft sobs and then slowly into sleep. Clint stood there, staring as if he was a fool, unable to believe what his eyes and ears were telling him. "What the hell did you do?" he asked, whispering so as not to wake her up.

Bucky smiled, the lines of his shoulders and face relaxing as Maia's tiny body loosened even further in his arms. "Don't know," he said, equally as quiet. "But I don't think we should argue with it?"

Clint shook his head frantically, but Maia's instant calming for hands other than his own reinforced the newly reawakened doubts that had been racing around his head. Why had he thought this was a good idea? He should just let Child Protective Services place her with a family, a good family, one with parents who knew what to do with a crying baby...

He only looked up when Bucky moved inside his personal space, forcing him to look up from where he'd been staring at the sleeping child in Bucky's arms. "Hey," Bucky said. "I know the look on your face. That's your 'I'm not good enough' look. Just stop it, okay? Let me see if I can put her down in her crib and then we'll talk about this."

Dumbly, Clint nodded. Regardless of what was going on in his head, Maia needed to sleep, and however she got there was a good thing. He could hear Bucky moving around in her room, settling Maia into her crib and turning on the baby monitor before coming out.

They had both said they wanted more, the day he'd found Maia, but he'd been so tied up with getting her settled that he hadn't been able to really digest that he wasn't alone in his wants. And Bucky had turned out to be so good with Maia, even after his original denials, and that was unexpectedly hot. It just intensified Clint's desires, desires that he wasn't sure he'd be able to act on before Maia was in her teens. She took so much attention and energy, and he didn't know if he had enough to invest in a relationship at the same time.

And he'd promised Maia to make her his most important thing. He was not going to break his promises to a baby.. Not even for a grown up relationship for the first time since Phil had died.

He pulled a couple of beers out of the fridge and went to the couch, setting them down on the table and sitting down. He had a pretty firm rule of no more than one beer a week, but today definitely warranted one. And offering one to Bucky was the least that he could do.

Bucky came out of Maia's room, silently shutting the door and then coming to settle at _his_ end of the couch. Once again, Clint paused, amazed that Bucky had been in his apartment often enough that he had his own end of the couch, that there was his favorite beer in the fridge, that he knew where all of Maia's supplies were. That he knew the combination to the locker where Clint kept his emergency weapons stashed, in case he couldn't get to the ready room before defending Maia.

Clint felt like he _should_ have felt tied down by all of this. He should have been panicking. Instead he felt _known_ , like no one else had, with the exception of Natasha and Phil. And what did that say about how he felt about Bucky that he was putting him in the same kind of box in his head?

He studied Bucky's face as he took a deep drink of his beer, his shaggy hair pulled back into a knot on the back of his head, his eyes closed in the simple pleasure of a good beer. "Why are you really here?" Clint asked, before he even realized he was going to speak.

"I told you - " Bucky started.

"No, not just tonight. Why are you spending all this time with me? It's been four months and you haven't even gotten more than a goodnight kiss because I'm too tired to contemplate sex. And by the time I have more energy, she'll probably be old enough to climb out of her crib, and then it'll be because I'm afraid of her walking in on us."

Bucky blinked at him for a second and then set down his beer on the coffee table with a click on the table. "So, uh, we're going to have that conversation now, are we?"

"What do you mean?"

"The reasons why I like you besides your amazing arms?" 

Clint blinked at him. He didn't quite know what to say or which way to go with the conversation.

After a moment, Bucky sighed a little. "You're exhausted, Clint. How long had Maia been screaming when I got here?"

Turning so he wasn't meeting Bucky's eyes, Clint mumbled "All day," before taking another swallow of his beer.

"Why didn't you call me for help earlier?" Bucky's voice was soft and gentle, and it made the world kind of blur at the edges.

"I don't - she's my responsibility," Clint said. "I should handle it."

"You didn't exactly volunteer for this," Bucky said. "You're doing an amazing job, but you can ask for help when you need it."

Clint didn't know how to explain that he felt like he couldn't, so he just sipped his beer and said nothing.

Bucky waited for a moment and then sighed again. "Okay, finish your beer, and then you need some sleep, Clint," Bucky said. "I'll stay out here in case Maia wakes up again."

Clint twisted back to meet Bucky's eyes. "I can't let you do that," he said. "It's my - "

"Responsibility, yeah, I know," Bucky said with a low chuckle. "You're going to do no one any good if you're too tired to move. The couch is fine for me for one night."

Swallowing hard, Clint said, "If you're going to insist on staying, you can share my bed, you know. It's... it's plenty big enough for both of us."

The smile that lit up Bucky's face made the nerves twisting in Clint's stomach smooth out a little. "I'd like that,"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is love!


	5. Sharing a Bed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maia wakes Clint and Bucky in the middle of the night, and there's a conversation.

The alarm lights flashing woke Clint. It was the pattern that meant Maia was crying, and he started to fumble his way out of bed to go to her. He had no idea what time it was, other than "dark outside", but as he struggled to get untangled from the blankets, a hand came to rest on his shoulder. He twisted, only to remember only at the last second that he'd offered to let Bucky sleep in the bed with him. 

Bucky mouthed the words, "I've got this," at him, and got out of bed. Clint nearly went after him - Maia was _his_ to deal with - but exhaustion dragged at his limbs, keeping him in the bed as the flashing stopped. He did manage to snag his ears off the nightstand and listened through the baby monitor as Bucky murmured softly to Maia, feeding her and changing her diaper. He was glad to hear her settle - hopefully that meant that whatever had her so wound up the day before was finally over.

The warmth of the bed and the dimness of the room pulled at him, trying to pull him back under, but he fought to keep his eyes open until Bucky came back in. As the last of the sounds from Maia's rooms died down, leaving only the quiet sounds of her breathing, he sat up a little, waiting for Bucky, who came back in a moment later.

"She okay?" Clint asked, even though he'd heard her settle down readily enough.

"Out like a light," Bucky said. "She must have worn herself out yesterday. But you should be sleeping."

"I, uh, I wanted to wait until you came back in," Clint said bashfully, rubbing at the back of his neck and looking at the comforter.

"Oh," Bucky said, sounding pleased. "Would it be alright if I held you for a while?"

"You don't have to," Clint said, but he didn't argue when Bucky climbed back into the bed, wrapping himself around Clint's back. Even though he was shorter than Clint by several inches, he was broad and warm and Clint felt safer than he'd felt for a long time.

"You know, Clint, nothing has to happen for me to want to be with you," Bucky said softly.

Hell, it was _that_ conversation. He wasn't ready for it. He might never be ready for it, really, and Clint couldn't get away from it - not without struggling - and he was too comfortable for that. "I don't see why," he said, keeping his voice low but proud that it stayed steady.

"Because you're amazing," Bucky said. "You're a certified hero, not just out in the wide world but to your neighborhood in Bed Stuy. Your tenants must think that you're just the bees' knees, since that one grandma even suggested you as home for her great-granddaughter. You think she would have done that with just anyone?"

Clint sighed. "I'm trying to live up to that, but it's hard. I spend most days just hoping that I don't screw up too badly, and saving for therapy for her for when I do."

"No parent knows what they're doing, especially with their first kid," Bucky said, his voice firm. "And from talking to you, I know you didn't exactly have good role models growing up. You're doing just fine."

"Great, I don't completely suck as a father," Clint said. "That's great, really, but it still doesn't explain what you're still doing here. You've gotten farther tonight than you have since before I moved into the tower, and we both still have our pants on."

Bucky chuckled, his chest vibrating pleasantly against Clint's back. Before Clint could get defensive, though, Bucky pressed a kiss to the back of his head. "It's fine, Clint. You're a new dad, and Maia still isn't sleeping through the night every night, so you're always tired. And you're spending your days working to clean up your old neighborhood, checking on your building and the neighboring ones, and that's not even counting facing down the occasional villain. If you want to get there, we will eventually. If not, I'd be thrilled just to spend the night sometimes, and hold you as you sleep."

"But what are you getting out of it?" Clint asked, confused and tired. It was warm under the blankets. Bucky gave out heat like a furnace and Clint thought he could never get enough of it. But eventually it wasn't going to be enough for Bucky, and then it would just be Clint and Maia again, only he'd have the reminder of what could have been right there in the tower with him every day.

"I get to hold you, and hopefully be held by you. I hope to maybe get some kisses. When you're ready, and not so exhausted you fall asleep in your jeans, we can discuss what else we might _both_ be interested in." Bucky kissed the back of Clint's head again, and this time, Clint twisted around so that he could kiss Bucky on the mouth.

"I don't understand. " Clint said. He was so confused. No one had ever wanted him for those reasons. For his skill in a fight, with a bow, those he understood. He'd had lovers who appreciated his skills in bed, but Bucky didn't even know what those were. And yet - 

"You don't have to," Bucky said. "You don't even have to believe me right now. Eventually you'll realize I mean it, and that will be a good day."

Something warm bloomed in Clint's chest. It was something like hope, and something like affection, and maybe there were other emotions in there that he couldn't even put a name to. But he realized that he'd already taken the huge risk of being Maia's father, and he wanted to take this risk too.

"You sure about this?" Clint asked, both scared and curious about Bucky's answer.

"As sure as I am about anything," Bucky said and then kissed Clint again. It was close-mouthed and chaste, and left heat burning through Clint as he thought about taking it further.

But he was still exhausted, and Maia would need to be fed again in a few hours. He guessed he'd have to take the risk and trust Bucky's words.

"Okay," he said.

"Okay?" Bucky repeated, a goofy smile spreading across his face. 

"Yeah." Clint gave Bucky a kiss of his own. "That said, I want to get out of my jeans and get some more sleep. Maybe - maybe in a day or two I'll take advantage of the childcare that Tony arranged without asking for something a little more selfish than invading Doombots and we can go on an actual date."

"I'd like that, but only if you're ready," Bucky said.

Twisting, Clint shimmied out of his jeans, leaving him in his shorts. "Come on, you too. We can do this much at least."

After another quick kiss, Bucky stripped out of his own jeans, and then they curled up together, warm and comfortable under the blankets. Without asking, JARVIS lowered the lights so that it was completely dark once again. "You know I'm terrified, right?" Clint said into the dark of the room. There was something about talking when he couldn't see that made it safer to say dangerous things.

"I know. Someday, you'll realize you can trust me, I promise," Bucky said, encouraging Clint to turn on his side and tuck into the curve of Bucky's body. Warm and safe, surrounded and beginning to accept that this might be the beginnings of something really good, Clint closed his eyes. 

Maia was going to wake them up bright and early, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it, that's the end. I am never posting a WIP again - even one as small as this was nerve-wracking, and I may go back in a week or two and edit the hell out of this thing. But it's done.


End file.
